Disney released the first teaser poster for their upcoming cinematic Muppets re-launch today, and well, it’s kinda…creepy? Call me a purist, but I feel the Muppets function better as characters when you only see them from the waist up. All previous attempts to make Muppets ambulatory have come across as a little odd at best, and downright terrifying at worst (except the dude-in-a-suit Sweetums, of course). Kermit’s appendages are so long and eerie, it conjures up the haunting imagery of The Slender Man urban legend. That’s the last association you want made with Jim Henson’s beloved felt creations, believe me. The Muppets is written and directed by Jason Segel and is in theaters on November 23.
Jason Segel is kind of an annoying douchebag on How I Met Your Mother, but I’ve enjoyed him in films like Knocked Up and Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Now, as most of you already know, he is starring in and directing the new Muppets movie, simply titled The Muppets. Here’s a new pic from the film and a detailed plot synopsis:
“On vacation in Los Angeles, Walter, the world’s biggest Muppet fan, and his friends Gary (Jason Segel) and Mary (Amy Adams) from Smalltown, USA, discover the nefarious plan of oilman Tex Richman (Chris Cooper) to raze the Muppet Theater and drill for the oil recently discovered beneath the Muppets’ former stomping grounds. To stage The Greatest Muppet Telethon Ever and raise the $10 million needed to save the theater, Walter, Mary and Gary help Kermit reunite the Muppets, who have all gone their separate ways: Fozzie now performs with a Reno casino house band called the Moopets, Miss Piggy is a plus-size fashion editor at Vogue Paris, Animal is in a Santa Barbara clinic for anger management, and Gonzo is a high-powered plumbing magnate. “
That actually sounds really great. It sounds like a combination of the first Muppet movie and the third, Muppets Take Manhattan, when they all split up and took different jobs around the country. This could be an epic return to glory for The Muppets, as long as Segel doesn’t fuck it up. Credit: /Film
Saints preserve us!!! What sort of Hellish Netherworld did the person who is responsible for this abomination crawl out of? Muppets With People Eyes is just pure nightmare fuel. Words cannot do the horrors of these images justice; you must gaze upon them and know the true meaning of fear. Click Kermit to see more of these demonic visions if you must, but once you do, you can never go back…what has been seen, cannot be unseen. In the name of all that is decent and Holy, why would someone do this….WHY???