Despite lackluster ticket sales and a 33% freshness rating on Rotten Tomatoes, someone in Hollywood thought it would be a good idea to greenlight a sequel to the face-meltingly awful G.I. Joe The Rise of Cobra. Even more disconcerting than this news, however, is the recent casting rumors that are starting to trickle in. First off, the only cast member that is confirmed to return in G.I. Joe 2, is the mannequin-esque Channing Tatum as Duke. None of the other major heroes and villains featured in the first film are returning, which means that key characters like Cobra Commander, Destro, and The Baroness will need to be re-cast.

Ray Park is likely to return as Snake-Eyes, as is Byung-hun Lee as his nemesis Storm Shadow. As for new members that will be enlisting in the Joe’s ranks, Elodie Yung will portray the female ninja Jinx, Detroit 187’s D.J Controna will star at the beret-wearing warrant officer Flint, and none other than Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson will lift a heavy machine gun as Roadblock! The most bizarre casting rumor surrounding the film right now is the Wu-Tang Clan’s RZA, who is currently “in discussions” to play “The Blind Master”, an obscure ninja master from the comic books who shares a past with the masters that trained Snake-Eyes and Storm Shadow. G.I. Joe 2: Cobra Strikes is set for release on August 10, 2012.

In a related story, this G.I. Joe video is ten times better than G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra. If they released this into the theater on a two-hour loop, I would gladly pay $11 and laugh my ass off.


About Jeff Carter

Jeff began his path towards Geek destiny at the age of four, at a drive-in screening of Star Wars. Since then, he's had a love affair with all things nerdy. In the mid to late 90's, Jeff was a staff writer for EchoStation.Com, interviewing Star Wars heavyweights like Timothy Zahn and Drew Struzan. He then went on to review films and write editorial pieces for several blogs in the mid 2000's, wrote and co-created a webcomic strip that ran from 2007-2010, and is currently co-founder of Dead Henchmen Productions, an independent film company based in New England.

Posted on June 29, 2011, in News and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: