Daily Archives: June 29, 2011


Despite lackluster ticket sales and a 33% freshness rating on Rotten Tomatoes, someone in Hollywood thought it would be a good idea to greenlight a sequel to the face-meltingly awful G.I. Joe The Rise of Cobra. Even more disconcerting than this news, however, is the recent casting rumors that are starting to trickle in. First off, the only cast member that is confirmed to return in G.I. Joe 2, is the mannequin-esque Channing Tatum as Duke. None of the other major heroes and villains featured in the first film are returning, which means that key characters like Cobra Commander, Destro, and The Baroness will need to be re-cast.

Ray Park is likely to return as Snake-Eyes, as is Byung-hun Lee as his nemesis Storm Shadow. As for new members that will be enlisting in the Joe’s ranks, Elodie Yung will portray the female ninja Jinx, Detroit 187’s D.J Controna will star at the beret-wearing warrant officer Flint, and none other than Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson will lift a heavy machine gun as Roadblock! The most bizarre casting rumor surrounding the film right now is the Wu-Tang Clan’s RZA, who is currently “in discussions” to play “The Blind Master”, an obscure ninja master from the comic books who shares a past with the masters that trained Snake-Eyes and Storm Shadow. G.I. Joe 2: Cobra Strikes is set for release on August 10, 2012.

In a related story, this G.I. Joe video is ten times better than G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra. If they released this into the theater on a two-hour loop, I would gladly pay $11 and laugh my ass off.

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