CHANNING TATUM TO STAR IN ‘PETER PAN BEGINS’?

For the love of God and all that is Holy, I wish I could tell you that this is some crazy fake news story I conjured up to get some cheap laughs, but sadly, horribly, I can’t. This news is real, and I’m so blind with rage that I want to punch a hole through the fabric of time itself and murder J.M. Barrie before he writes a single word about Peter Pan just to prevent his future corpse from being exhumed and publicly sodomized by the single worst film idea I’ve ever heard — involving the single worst actor in the history of cinema.

Producer Joe Roth is the man behind this shit-tacular concept; if that name rings a bell to you, it’s because he’s the asshat that’s responsible for slapping together prequels and/or “re-imaginings” of some beloved classics such as Oz The Great And Powerful, and Snow White And The Huntsman with Tatum’s female counterpart in the realm of suck, Kristen Stewart.

DIE IN A FIRE, YOU CLASSICS-RAPING, NO TALENT, UNORIGINAL FUCKTARDS!!!!!!

-Ahem- Excuse me. I think I need my medicine*

(*Gin)

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About Jeff Carter

Jeff began his path towards Geek destiny at the age of four, at a drive-in screening of Star Wars. Since then, he's had a love affair with all things nerdy. In the mid to late 90's, Jeff was a staff writer for EchoStation.Com, interviewing Star Wars heavyweights like Timothy Zahn and Drew Struzan. He then went on to review films and write editorial pieces for several blogs in the mid 2000's, wrote and co-created a webcomic strip that ran from 2007-2010, and is currently co-founder of Dead Henchmen Productions, an independent film company based in New England.

Posted on March 1, 2011, in News and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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