TWI-TARDS CREAM THEIR PANTS OVER PICTURE OF ARM

Twilight fans are complete morons. Aside from believing that Stephenie Myers’ poorly written, juvenile fantasy-fulfillment bullshit is good literature, they also will completely lose their shit and start screaming like banshees at the slightest shred of news from their beloved franchise. Case in point, the above picture of someone’s arm with a few feathers floating around it has inflamed the loins of millions of desperate soccer Moms and insecure teenagers around the world today.

Research has led to me understand that what you are looking at here is the first official image from Chapter 1 of Breaking Dawn, the final film in the Twilight saga. Apparently, it’s Bella’s arm after twinkly boy Edward literally almost kills her during a night of epic sex that sends her head through the headboard and shatters her pelvis. Wow. Better shine them Oscars up, Academy. Breaking Dawn’s a-comin’!

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About Jeff Carter

Jeff began his path towards Geek destiny at the age of four, at a drive-in screening of Star Wars. Since then, he's had a love affair with all things nerdy. In the mid to late 90's, Jeff was a staff writer for EchoStation.Com, interviewing Star Wars heavyweights like Timothy Zahn and Drew Struzan. He then went on to review films and write editorial pieces for several blogs in the mid 2000's, wrote and co-created a webcomic strip that ran from 2007-2010, and is currently co-founder of Dead Henchmen Productions, an independent film company based in New England.

Posted on November 29, 2010, in News and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. John of the Dead

    If only they actually showed the sex, this might be worth watching. But since “Twilight” is for girls afraid of sex, they won’t. Dammit.

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